DANIKA

STEGEMAN

<div style="white-space: nowrap;">i set fire to the letter <span style="display:inline-block; width:1.051em;"></span>and the envelope it arrived in</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">i won’t carry it <span style="display:inline-block; width:3.106em;"></span>i pull the knot from my heart</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">follow my name back like a door <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.133em;"></span>and send the root</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.01em;">ash from stone</div><div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.02em;">(figuratively) i break, interrupt, annul, destroy</div><div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.02em;">(of the body) i break, split, rupture, burst</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">i thank the dirt for what it grows <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.177em;"></span>what is and isn’t mine</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">i hold the door</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span><span style="font-style: italic;">is it open?</span></div> <div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.01em;">yes</div><div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.01em;">i break, burst, tear, rend, rupture</div><div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.01em;">break asunder : force open</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">radiate outward you say <span style="display:inline-block; width:5.365em;"></span>radiate outward i echo</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">fold in the corners <span style="display:inline-block; width:1.691em;"></span>of a year nearly gone <span style="display:inline-block; width:3.651em;"></span>blown clear</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">stand at the edge <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.496em;"></span>and turn <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.484em;"></span>the leaves <span style="display:inline-block; width:1.801em;"></span>i never wanted</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.01em;">his hands on me</div><div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.01em;">a closed system</div><div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.00em;">i repeat i repeat</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">what happens <span style="display:inline-block; width:3.332em;"></span>is what i live with</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">what happens is what anyone can live with</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">devour in reverse : to <span style="display:inline-block; width:0.706em;"></span>let out</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.01em;">go <span style="display:inline-block; width:1.870em;"></span>: <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.549em;"></span>loose <span style="display:inline-block; width:3.642em;"></span>: <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.778em;"></span>choose <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.771em;"></span>: <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.549em;"></span>re-</div><div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.01em;">lease <span style="display:inline-block; width:1.066em;"></span>: <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.549em;"></span>ex <span style="display:inline-block; width:1.945em;"></span>- <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.463em;"></span>press <span style="display:inline-block; width:0.930em;"></span>: <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.549em;"></span>un <span style="display:inline-block; width:1.833em;"></span>- <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.463em;"></span>hem</div><div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.01em;">un <span style="display:inline-block; width:1.833em;"></span>- <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.463em;"></span>stitch <span style="display:inline-block; width:0.825em;"></span>: <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.778em;"></span>is <span style="display:inline-block; width:1.975em;"></span>- <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.463em;"></span>sue <span style="display:inline-block; width:4.339em;"></span>emit</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">to give <span style="display:inline-block; width:3.101em;"></span>: <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.549em;"></span>hook + eyelet <span style="display:inline-block; width:3.335em;"></span>be-</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">hold <span style="display:inline-block; width:3.896em;"></span>: <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.549em;"></span>the whole mind <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.686em;"></span>the diamond- <span style="display:inline-block; width:0.721em;"></span>branching</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">poison the well <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.843em;"></span>a folded boat <span style="display:inline-block; width:3.564em;"></span>turned upside down</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.01em;">the things i don’t say <span style="display:inline-block; width:0.901em;"></span>because they’re not mine to carry</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">if it’s too heavy <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.808em;"></span>hold the animal close to your body</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">i'm told i'll be in awe, agape <span style="display:inline-block; width:4.000em;"></span>steam rises from the rooftops</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">you spin out and i spin out with you <span style="display:inline-block; width:3.676em;"></span>enter the point at which we break</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">and my body, beloved <span style="display:inline-block; width:3.144em;"></span>i’m so grateful for it <span style="display:inline-block; width:1.181em;"></span>i can’t stop bleeding tears</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.01em;">once i was stuffed with straw <span style="display:inline-block; width:3.440em;"></span>i keep dreaming compost</div><div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.01em;">i keep dreaming i’m eating garbage i’m vomiting into my hands in a car’s backseat a humid heat</div><div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.01em;">weeping from my skin <span style="display:inline-block; width:3.300em;"></span>i’m assessing a series of old containers <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.718em;"></span>i’m here in front of you</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.43em;">to my left a mask to your right a <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.350em;"></span>spacier kind of mask <span style="display:inline-block; width:3.686em;"></span>the eyes are holes a series of bridges a</div><div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.24em;">series of synapses scorched leather <span style="display:inline-block; width:1.473em;"></span>we’re in a griefhouse the containers are empty the upholstery is wine-</div><div style="white-space: nowrap;">colored the leather is an animal’s skin follow the stitching <span style="display:inline-block; width:4.402em;"></span>also called living or</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.01em;">rather the crown <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.337em;"></span>the spirit world is also called the underworld</div><div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.01em;">why are we here <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.505em;"></span>the clearing of a feeling of being bound + strung out christ is</div><div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.01em;">always bleeding out always drawn in agony the pain of sin is to miss the mark do not</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">suffer me</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">sleep <span style="display:inline-block; width:3.722em;"></span>light a candle <span style="display:inline-block; width:3.578em;"></span>tell your body it’s safe</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">even if you’re trembling <span style="display:inline-block; width:5.273em;"></span>i’m going to need you to face me</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.00em;">what i’ve given i’d give again</div><div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.23em;">for the brush of your shoulder</div><div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.01em;">and the glass between our hands</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">and i don’t need to ask <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.916em;"></span>if there is no question</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.00em;">the body is also a pyre</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">and the pines the pines</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">the ringing is concordance</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">a softening <span style="display:inline-block; width:1.597em;"></span>as if you give</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.01em;">as if i’m waiting <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.678em;"></span>the weight of rain</div><div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.01em;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span><span style="font-style: italic;">as firmly as the hand</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span><span style="display:inline-block; width:1.883em;"></span><span style="font-style: italic;">clutches the stone</span></div><div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.00em;">kafka says <span style="display:inline-block; width:1.939em;"></span><span style="font-style: italic;">only to fling it all the farther</span></div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">i hold my tongue against my teeth</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">i feel you in my skin <span style="display:inline-block; width:1.109em;"></span>and the fields under water</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">come apart in my hands <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.480em;"></span>i implore you</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.00em;">to gather yourself like a stone in your palm</div><div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.01em;">indivisible <span style="display:inline-block; width:1.910em;"></span><span style="font-style: italic;">the path leads even into that distance</span></div><div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.01em;">i’m home <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.129em;"></span>the windows are open</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">birches + the river overreaching</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">pull the sky to pieces <span style="display:inline-block; width:3.580em;"></span>light-spent</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">and this particular shade <span style="display:inline-block; width:2.377em;"></span>if you need to</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.02em;">go ahead <span style="display:inline-block; width:5.078em;"></span>i’m right here</div><div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.01em;">the warmth in me <span style="display:inline-block; width:1.946em;"></span>a kind of spell</div><div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.01em;">in the shape of every syllable that leaves your mouth</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap;">i take my hand off the door</div> <div style="white-space: nowrap; text-align: right; margin-left: auto; width: 100%; padding-right: 0.01em;">and you walk through it</div>